Monday, April 14, 2025
Top Ten Datings Tips for All
1. Have a
Mini-Bio
You’ve only got a few minutes to showcase who you
are. Like an elevator speech, have a mini-bio prepared that includes the most
positive aspects about you. Remember, it is more about who you are than what
you do for a living. (ie: “My name is ___________. I do marketing for a living.
I love watching sports, going for walks, creative problem solving, and anything
to do with enjoying animals. Oh, and I love sun-bathing and doing nothing on
vacation.”)
2. Got Questions?
How much can you learn about a person in only a
few minutes? A lot, if you are prepared! Have some key questions prepared that
will provide answers to your most important requirements in a partner. For
example, if religion, a love of children, and a specific type of sense of humor
are important to you, perhaps you want to ask the following questions?
1. How would you describe your religion or
spirituality?
2. What do you think of children?
3. Who is your favorite comedian? Why?
The more open-ended the question, the more insight
you will gain!
3. Have Answers…
You’ve been creative enough to come up with some
great questions for your mini-date to answer. Make sure you know your own
answers to those questions. Often times, a speed dater might say, “That’s a
great question! How would you answer that?” So, be prepared to answer your own
questions too!
4. Confident or
Desperate?
You’ve been there before. Whether it was in a job
interview or a date, you’ve seen that person who comes across as desperate and,
without words, is saying “Please, please, please choose me!” Nothing is more of
a turn-off than desperation so, BE THE CHOOSER! Be confident! Even if you don’t
feel confident, there is something to the whole “fake it ‘til you make it”
concept. After all, if you are highly attracted to someone who is exuding
confidence, wouldn’t you want someone to perceive you that way too? Confidence
is definitely much more attractive!
5. Have a Support
System Ready to Go!
Know the people in your support system and tell
them exactly what support looks like to you. When you want to speak to them
after the event, you may simply need someone to listen to you (and not solve a
perceived problem). Maybe you need someone who can be available to you
immediately after the event so that you can debrief them on your experience and
let them know what you might need further as a result. A support system who can
meet your needs is very important in any dating scenario. So is clearly articulating
your needs!
6. Be Truthful
with Yourself and Others
Know yourself and be honest with yourself about
what you will/won’t tolerate; what you do/don’t like and be honest with the
person across the table. Your honesty may avoid an unconscious choice to begin
a relationship on a false pretense. For instance, let’s say that the person
across the table from you LOVES technology and asks you if you are interested
in technology. Your truth is that you use technology but aren’t all that
interested in ‘the latest and greatest,’ but you decide to say, ‘Yeah,
technology is cool!’ Now that person takes that to mean that you are as
passionate as they are and you learn that they want to share the latest
technology information with you all the time! Then they take you to a
technology conference next week! While you are trying to remain open minded and
perhaps going along with all of this so that you can learn more about what
makes this person tick,or what they see in all of this, you have just
subconsciously chosen to enter into this relationship on a false pretense that
may ultimately result in a rejection scenario you could have avoided if you
were simply honest with yourself and the person across the table from you.
7. Deal Breakers!
You’ve got deal breakers. Know what they are and
what to look for so that you don’t waste your time or theirs. For instance, if
you are an animal lover and one of your speed dates can’t get enough hunting,
listen to that alarm going off inside your head and recognize it as one of your
deal breakers. Honor yourself by letting them know when they’ve hit one. You
can’t please all of the people all of the time, but you have a right to make
sure you’ve respected yourself and your needs!
8. Don’t Take it
Personally!
It’s inevitable! You may reject some people during
your speed dating event and you may also be rejected. Don’t worry about it, and
don’t take it personally. Consider that this may be a good thing! It means that
you weren’t mismatched and you have likely avoided some dates that never should
have happened! Whew! Contrastingly, celebrate when you do get a match! It means
that there really might be something there!
9. Have a
Positive Attitude and an Open Mind!
If you immediately look around, and decide,
"There is no-one here for me", or "These are not my type of
people", you have already closed your mind to being successful. Keep an
open mind! Be playfully curious about what the night might bring. You may just
meet someone who connects you to the love of your life!
10. Expect the
Unexpected!
If you go in with a pre-determined outcome, you
are unnecessarily stressing yourself out and will likely be disappointed.
Remember, you are meeting many people and connecting with several of them who
could become a part of your life in other ways than dating. Going into the
event with the idea of “I’m going to meet the love of my life tonight,” sets
you up for a lot of pressure and potential disappointment. Going into the event
with the idea of “I wonder what this night will bring me” will leave you
pleasantly surprised and much less stressed!
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